Friday, June 27, 2008

It's Friday...and you aint got sh*t to do!

Woo-hoo! It's Friday!

I have to admit I'm feeling a bit peaked after a Thursday night brimmed with free Angelina Jolie butt crack and good beer Keystone Light. But it's Friday nonetheless, so I'm giddy by default. Back to Angelina. A friend and (peace-loving) neighbor of mine managed to snag 7:30 advance-screening tickets for "Wanted" (featuring James McAvoy and the pregnant half of the "Brangelina" Internet monster).

If you mix one part "The Matrix", two parts "Fight Club", toss in a pinch of "Shoot em' Up" and top the bloodletting off with a Star Wars-esque cherry, you've pretty much got "Wanted." Derivative? Yup. Implausible? You better believe it. Enjoyable if you can check all logic at the door? Absolutely. Plus Angelina shows off her anorexic buns, which amazingly managed to look like something slightly more substantial than legs connecting directly into a lower back. But not by much.

The distraction fueled by Angie's "please buy me a Six Dollar Burger" frame aside - I enjoyed Wanted for the big, ridiculously over-the-top, cheesy action spectacle it is. Three-and-a-half out of five stars .

It's amazing that I could possibly be in a halfway decent mood considering I only got about four hours of sleep last night (That's where the beer came in). I guess that's the power of Friday. How awesome are Fridays? Don't try to answer that, it was rhetorical.

Anyhow, Fridays were discovered by hungry bar-goers in late 19th century California - apparently only three skips away from Ruby Tuesdays [[ba-da-ting!]] Ahem. Its English form stems from the German word "Freitag" which translates to "Dude! Where are we going for happy hour?"

Interesting fact, huh?

In honor of Friday I present...

Aubrey's Top Ten Reasons You Gotta Love Friday

10. Your boss is too busy haggling for a Saturday morning tee time over the phone to notice you coming in late.

9. Everyone at work is on the same page: the one titled "Unproductive".

8. Two Words: happy...hour.

7. No matter what date is written on your birth certificate, every birthday is really on Friday.

6. Unless you provide some sort of valuable public service, such as firefighting, soldiering or working the register at Cinnabon, you're probably off the next day.

5. People are in a better mood throughout the least until Happy Hour ends.

4. People that are still in a good mood after Happy Hour are much more likely to make whoopee with you just because.

3. If you don't have a job, Friday is extra cool because Chris Tucker will eventually show up at your porch with a doobie.

2. Sex is 82.4% better on Fridays in comparison to Mondays. Look it's science!

And the #1. reason you gotta love Fridays...

You don't need to bother blowing gas money at a strip club, it's "dress down" day at your local Hooters!

Merry Friday to all! And to all a great Happy Hour!


Miss Grace said...

I think I'm on the page titled "unproductive" EVERY day. Is that a problem?

Do you know how badly I want to see that movie? Very, is the answer. Not just because I have a girl-crush on Angelina, but also because loud cheesy implausible action movies are my favorite kind to see in theaters.

April said...

Hmmmm, I hate implausible action movies, but Angelina's anorexic buns huh???? This may be worth the trade-off...

AnnaC said...

ahem... it's Tuesday, now.

How about an update?

Emil said...

Ummmm, I haven't had a job since Kerry won the Iowa caucus and I've yet to see Smokey or his blunt!!!

Aub said...

Emil: I'm sure he'll make it around to your porch soon. You gotta remember there's a recession going on. He's got lots of folks to visit. Kinda like a ghetto Santa.